| updates updates updates |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|08:08 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | i caght fire-jst cnt get it out of my head | ] |
first period spanglish lol yea i havent been around in a while it always seems that way nowa days things haven't changed much me and tj broke up for good and eventhough it kills me i know its for our own good .....a wonderful guy ive known for years at my church asked me out and i never regret saying yes he's absolutely wonderful to me he makes me feel beautiful on the inside and out ....life is wonderful everything's bk to norm cudn't ask for btr bell's gonna ring pz out love 2 all |
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| so many things |
[Sep. 9th, 2005|08:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Plum-"i caught fire"The Used..wake me up when september ends | ] |
god i haven't spoken in soo long...... and ya know i dont think that many people know my journal's here thatz actually kinda kewl since i technically cant obtain myspace..... mom had the brain surgery..... couple days ago they found an infection the doc said that this happens all the time when u replace the original bone in the skull....hhhmmm it seems to me that any irrate unobservational second grader could have concluded that if that type of infection "usually" happens, then the skull bone shud have been replaced by titanium in the first place...ugh docs make me mad... she's in boston now and no one can tell when she'll be home...
although something else is on my mind.. something that is tearing my heart apart..as well as my mind....my girl ronnie set me up with this boy after i was forced to break up with tj...to make me feel btr so to speak.... we had fun went on a couple dates...hung out with friends and each other...he was perfectly nice...and we have so much in common ....infact he's like me with a dick...yea wierd i know...i was angry and hurt and deeplysaddened and made a horrible mistake we so called dated for a month and had sex.... it was awesome i wont lie and it was fun but the whole time i thought of tj...i felt like i cheated on him when i was spose to be unattached... when i went back to school i saw him again and i realized something...... i gave my heart away my soul everything to him and it doesnt matter what anyone says.. he's my all the one im in love with him and i have been for over a yr n 1/2 he's my first love and ive never stopped loving him.....i can't... sometimes i see myself married to him living happily with children and jobs of our own i have so much faith in him i know he can do good.....he's a good man with an enormous heart and he's mine....my dilema??? do i tell him or dont i?? is this the true test of our love?? any comments or shared experiences wud be wonderfull i love u all if anyone needs me this wkend i'll be up in lake george at the hot rod show....just call my cell |
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| news update |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|06:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | green day | ] |
hey wuts goin on y'all??? last wk me n mom got to hang all alone cuz dad was @ americade it was awesme i won lie lol me n mom had fun tlkin n movies n stuff
saturday night was prom it was absolutely beautiful i had a lottta fun i cant wait to hand out pictures 2 u guys!!! hhmmmm........ brian forth ..... tell ya l8tr bye |
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| heya!!!! |
[May. 17th, 2005|04:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stranded by Plum | ] |
hey btches! wut^? ya know its funny, when u apologize to sum1 for arguing with them about something that originally wasn't ne of their bizna$$ in the first place, and then they turn around, hold a grudge, and decide to talk to a close friend of yours that u have a worst temper than her mom and usin u as an example. actually it's not funny ..... it's frustrating and annoying and if u hold a grudge that long it'll eat u up so get a life!!! or build a friggin bridge and get the hell over it! and u know who u r so if u read this i wash my hands of it i apologized to matt and ur father it nvr involved u so it shudnt be a problem.. they've 4given and forgotten y cant u??? there's no use crying over spilt milk i mean comon .... there's bigger fish to fry man-
tj and me are goin on 6 months pretty soon and he's so happy he likes to tell me, "wow look how times flies when ur in love" ....... gotta love that guy.... i got my acceptance letter from the town so ima gonna be a counselor ill get about $1600 for 6 wks so its not bad i'll almost have enough to buy my car insurrance, since im getting my license beginning of next month... not too shabby...... nightmare about being raped by west hasnt gona away so today wray threw me over his shoulder and forced me to sit there while he explained my recent behavior in class and y i'm so scared of him walking near me.... west cried it hurt him so bad cuz i know that we're getting close as friends on a teacher student level and it hurts him that i wud be scared of him idk if its really him though i think i haven't erally ended my emotions ovr wut happened with randy idk we'll see.... toe surgery nasty stuff so cool though juicy lol i bleed too much lol red n pink tape cast g2g make dinner l8taz |
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| idk |
[May. 6th, 2005|07:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | some guy's playin french rap bhind me, its awful! | ] |
bbbuuuuuurrrrppppppppp!!!!!!! aahh that was good stuff lol excuse me.... hmmm took off school yesterday for a mental haelth day... which, if u know me, was sorely needed.... went shopping all day.... then i had an interview with EGTP to be a camp counselor this summer ,,, i think it went well ... sorta, lol i was really nervous, tj and me r ok but im not feeling great about us things just dont seem that realistic but were trying to work it out at least its a start cuz i know i love him..... andrew the scumbag texted me after not speaking to me in ovr 4 months, "call me sumtime" yea right i dont wanna he's just doin that cuz we're goin back to camp this summer screw him he lost out.. not my problem....he told me he was "never coming to camp again" me n heather we're praying that was a promise.....in spanglish right now fun fun fun teachers dont even pay attention to wut ur doin let alone give u the time of day god i hate this school i cant wait till college which by the way im starting to look my top 3 right now are Wells College, Chaplain College, and DePaul University.... the evvironment and programs for secondary art education and history is beyond this world......7 mins to go yippy for me.... study hall next sleeppy sleep time .... Hey ~sexy anaconda! i love the pics on ur journal awesome....that one chicks really hott i wish i knew her name but ne hoo..... ima go surf the webbie l8taz |
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| la ti da |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|12:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Iris, Somewhere only we know.....Grnday and MCR | ] |
Hidy ho motherfoes! monday nite~ GREENDAY CONCERT!!!! CAN I GET HEY..... HO!!!@@@!!!!???!!! OMG i am even more in love with billy joe armstrong than ever b4 he is so amzingly hottt and wonderful he gave away his guitar let 4 guys on stage let 3 be "the band" for like 10mins it was great they put on an awesome show best iv been to "although billy definately cudda masterbated a lot better and alot more....." stated by sarah lol heather, my ninja duck so sry for the non-control ness of mine i was letting loose and now i cant move my neck for shibbits.... bam u rock and to garret and mike i am so in love with u!!!!!!! u rocked my world out to neptune ~!!!! SMOOCHES! billy joe mooned us, prolly the finest ass ive evr seen extremely white i must say though.....BLOW TORCHES!!! OMG IT WAS A PYRO'S FANTASY!!!! seriously sum1 cud have definately fkd to that concert well they wudda fkd like 6 or 7 times cuz it was 2 1/2 hrs long when grndy was on but definately .. it sucks if u missed it and if u did ur a loser if u didnt ur a loosar = waay kooler than a loser ne ways im just here in portfolio sent tj a flower and bought a couple for mum and one pink one for grams grave she shud like it anybody doin ne thing this wkend?? im drained but i wanna party so bad im in a partying mood and i wanna rock out sunday mornin im doin a gig so i wont be home n ill prolly be solo guitar and vcals whoo whooo..... i was at tjs last wkend we were in his room for like 5 hrs watching van helsing and then we were sposedly "watching " the notebook but i didnt want to torture him n ive seen it like 4 times so i thought id just torture him another way lol its so qt when he whispers " oh, u woke sum1 up.." lol he just smiles and kisses me it was wonderful almost the best feeling ever felt it was just us the door closed on his futon it felt so real like it was all ours and we had all the time in the world ..... red roses mean remember, pink roses mean infatuation, yellow means friendship and good luck, white = purity and love for all time, orange is just beautiful......g2g i love u all so much lataz..ps heaven i have come to believe is all day mosh pits, all night cuddles, topped with marshmellows |
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| vaca btchs!!! |
[Apr. 15th, 2005|11:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Senses Fail, Garbage, Room Noises | ] |
yea!!! vaca's on the rocks! spose to go shoppin 2day but u know blah blah blah.... mr west (bio teacher) total ass makes me reallly uncomfy and he got me alone and tried to talk to btr understand me and now he knows i dont trust men and im afraid of him he deosnt want that and he cracked me open and made me spill my frustrations... idk he makes me feel its ok to be mad and sad and full of anger at these things in my life w/e spking of which moms brain surgery is coming up ... its may 11th and thats all i can think about im so terrified every1's like "its gonna be fine,,, she'll be up and walking in 2 days...""" yaddayada yaddayadda w/e shakespeare rocked for those of u losers who didnt go hahaha i asked tj to go but did he?? nnnooo tht makes me so angry i support all his music and band stuff and he cant come to even one of my performances ugh.... but i still love him is there something wrong with me??? lol he takes care of me though and he loves it and he insists that he loves me more its very eery ...lol well i g2g i got a rumbly in my tumbly l8tr luvu all |
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| G.L.B.T |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|12:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Used, MCR, Static Lullaby | ] |
hey y'all some of u know wut 2day is so typings the only way to talk if u dont today's national silence day or day of silence whichever u prefer, and i think marriage and other rights of happiness should be given to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders anyone else feel the same? i mean honestly it doesnt bother me it doesnt hurt me in ne way that they're in a relationship idk w/e hey we had a blood drive today awesome the only thing tht wud have been even more awesome is if i was 17 and cud give blood too but for the past hour ppl have been reacting really badly too it ,,,,.. passing out getting rashes swelling and really bad bruises yuck...... but one of the staff members are being really btchy omg my friend kyle went to give blood ... now kyles gay... and b4 giving blood u must fill out a form of the sexual activities u have engaged in... now if ur gay u understand more than ne one that being gay doesnt mean that ur all about anal sex and most straights think this i did until thisafternoon .... its just she was so predjudice against him she told him he was gay and cudnt give blood later her manager told him that gays are more prone to desease and STI's and i dont think there's total solid proof in that because ive met more straight ppl with sti's than homosexuals with sti's ... kyle says its cuz hes more clean lol idk im writing to the FDA on their analysis process for giving blood ... i told kyle i shud write im transgender that i have a dick and that i have anal sex everyday and i gave blood but then the fbi wud come after me and i really dont want that although life wud be tremendously more exciting lol well mike wants to play games ttyl luv 2 all |
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| just stuff |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|09:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MCR, THE USED, and the song "have a lil faith in me" | ] |
hhmm yesterday was an overall good day i got the PLAN test back im in the 93 percentile for 10th graqders bound for college not too shabby but of course i still cant measure up to my brother in my fathers mind ugh hmmm tj came back today he hates my hair cut i cud care less it is "different" as he so said but i let shelly use me as her guinea pig and im not hrilled with it but hey its aaiight .... lol lmao i opened my friends friend's journal and it played techno music in the middle of a totally silent study hall lol hahaha take THAT mr bruton!!!
aiight sumtins been botherin me in recent state events out govenor of ny has made an agreement for casinos to be built in new york by the ontario tribe up in washington and oregon states instead of asking our ontario tribe and i dont think its fair to them i mean my brothers part black foot and my mother has a shamann watching over her so i consider my self connected to the native americans sumhow and i just dont think its fair of patacki to do this and negociate land that isnt even his this land belongs to the natives who were here first and in my own opinion were destroying it i mean look around look how many forests have been chopped up, look how many animals homes have been lost as well as the animals lives and look at all the polution going into our air i mean God gave us this land and we are just not preserving it very well i think we cud larn so much from the tribes about the land and how to live with it....comments on that one???
so,,, greenday and my chemical romance concert on april 25th!!! yea baby !!! aiight class is ovr l8ta |
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| whoa |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|09:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bowling 4 soup (kristen) the used and my chemical romance | ] |
how awsome just change settings on journal page not too shabby in school so bored tj's not here so i dont have ne thing to do lol ... mom's noticed shes getting worse and that she has to go into the brain surgery asap in stead of waiting till the end of june when im outta school she thinks of me instead of herslf hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm im sitting next to kristen she said to tell y'all that robbert is sad pppl r makin fun of him and the girl he thought liked him and told him she dumped her bf in actuality did not and now hes mopin round..... BOWLING FOR SOUP YEA!!! NEXT TIME SAY HI KRISTEN~!!! just kidding hehe need to see sahara!!! ugh i love matt maconaghy!! cant spell his last nm but hey i cant believe hes dating penelope cruz!!! yuck! well i must be off to gym now maybe i'lll hit ya up 6th period l8taz yall i have decided that heaven is a 24/7 mosh pit with marshmellows!! yey!! |
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| ne ting knew my nigas!!! |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|02:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | horny | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | GARBAGE | ] |
hidyho my mother foes!!! wut^? hhmm aaiight now that i checked wut i actually wrote last time and can write sumtin to u dis time yea der obviously.....aiight me n tj very nice lol we'r actually a lot closer as a couple ugh i wanna do him so bad!!1 lol jp well kinda we have discussed it and wer being real mature and open about it and when the time comes were ready to go thru it 2gether.....gettin thru dat my old bus driver whos like my uncle got arrested for "endangering a child" BULL SHIT!!! AAAIIGHT?! look he playsand jokes all the time like for ex. i told him bout my locker mixup and he said "a girl who looks like u can get anything she wants" and ya know he always jokes like that he nvr over steps the bounds man!!! dude my own dad calls me beautiful and shit like that .. is he ENDANGERING MY WELFARE???? I DONT THINK SO! ne ways this bitch (miranda bove) shes like the biggest whore in the district said he asked her to "pose nude" for him BULL SHIT everyone knows she lies about everything she even lied about having a daughter. ugh i hate her w/ a thriving passion yo g2g2 catch the bus got wrk illl type l8tr 2mrw morn cuz my comp aint wrkin we poor so l8ta y'all G.L.B.T RIGHTS ALL THE WAY!!!!! YEA !!! |
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| hhmmm...ne thts goin on in my unglamorous life HA |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|06:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | horny | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the used, my chemical romance, takin back sunday | ] |
hola!!! (hic) sry i got (hic) the hic (hic) ups..... when i get them (hic) i get them for (hic) like two days (hic) ok i dont want u to know when im hicuping ne more .....lol,,,.. yea.... hhmm......movie nite with tj lol y'all know cabin fever?? yea ok bloods shootin everywhere this girls throwin up her internal organs and he says"wud it be outta line if i said i love u??" i said no n asked y he responded "just testing the water" lol 5 mins l8tr he says "well cuz i do ya know,.... i love u"
omg it was the cutest thing!!! god he does these things to me iv nvr experienced like those kinda moments he takes my breath away without askin only to let me catch it and whenevr his lips brush my skin or he whispers into my ear and makes those vibrations, or kisses me i get these hot tingles all ovr my body on the top of my skin lol i know i sound insane trust me i do.... but now i really know wut they mean when they say"head ovr heels" or "getting swept off ur ft" i mean wow lol n he takes such good care of me whenevr he can wutevr he can do it s amazing and i love taking care of him he broke all my barriers i put around my heart he taught me i can be loved and i can return it and i can trust........i said it back ....i love u tj........
moms in boston today she went to get a 2nd opinion on her tumor havent heard from her yet.
i love u all l8ta
p.s~ i still have the hicups lol |
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| tonight |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|05:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ne thing romantic | ] |
hiya my amigos! im goin on a date tonight wit tj..... be bk round 11pm um.... o yea we'r goin to see "white noise" .. it only got one star in the review! but o well we'r spending time together and for those of u who know te full story of me n tj u also know we'r exclusive as of my birthday after a yr of really getting to know each other and take the time to really care for one another it great we'r really close we tell each other evrything and we care for each other more than that its a relationship iv nvr experienced before im liking it lol he spoils me and treats me as equal sumtimes even more hes so sweet and now tht in in a wheel chair i get special treatment! lo !~!!!! well i g2g get ready luv2all l8taz |
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| news |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|08:04 am] |
wuts up every1??? too much on my end.... parents arent really tlkin 2 each other and they'r not tlkin to me either kinda blows the holiday spirit ya know? andrew called yesterday begging for me to take him back and the way he really felt these past months - i hate when guys do that!!!! ur practically over them then they just make ya start all over again!!! the convo we had was deep like really deep. and i wanna forget it cuz i really care about the guy im dating iv tried 2 get on wit my life n its wrked so far, with some minor glitches attached of coarse.. Tj is absolutely wonderful to me n cudnt treat me btr he spoiled me for xmas he gave me crystal, silver bracelet and the dvd "pirates of the Caribbean" ........... YEA !!! JOHNNY DEPP!! ....... HE knows how much i love j.p
g2g to class luvya! |
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| idk lotza stuff |
[Dec. 4th, 2004|07:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 2 many to nm ne thing on FUSE | ] |
otay.. how y'all doin???
well im sick sum virus called thrash idk mum n dad went 2 the burner's uk xmas bash 2 night wont be back till after 1230 yea baby ill be out so dont give me a ring!!!
lol jp im chillin the cold meds kinda make ya all woozy n uncoordinated wow thts a really big word lol ne ways got all my friends xmas presents now i gotta wrk on my family's i hope my surgery's after the celebration dance i was really lking forward to tht this yr i couldnt make it last cuz i was suspended o well ne hoo andrew started tlkin to me n tjs comin ovr for my birthday g2g lotza love l8taz |
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| updates |
[Dec. 3rd, 2004|08:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | NOFX | ] |
hey my billyo hoes from the capital region!!! its ur pimpette here!!! lol (bitches n hoes!! luvya ash p!! ps~ ur ssooo black) hey mike where ya been papa??? i miss u im getting surgery in a couple wks but ill be in church this sunday. schools still confusing the whole half south end is blocked talk about crampage in the cattle moves ugh tj's been all cuddly lately its sweet i love how we are things r good cept for my leg g2g to class bbiafew!!! |
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| life |
[Nov. 6th, 2004|10:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Used, The Cure, Blik182 | ] |
ha life hmmm wut bout it?? summa was great, i had an awesome summer fling wit a really great guy from new jersey..... school is really confusing, the walls move!!! aka ~ construction... i didnt go to the homecoming dance didnt have the umf to go... grams is letting go really slowly its so hard to watch her suffer like she does. grampa fell n scared the shit outta me @ 5am his whole right eye is purple along wit tht side of his face, plus he's sick n wont let ne one help him. mom n dad have been fighting a lot lately moms been sleeping on the couch i feel really bad bout tht, moms scheduled for 2 surgeries....one this wednesday and one in december or early january to remove a brain tumor. thats wut caused all those siezures. early next year dads goin in to remove an ahortic abdominal anyerism tht cud burst @ ne moment which scares me cuz if it did he wud die instantly. me n tj r in a silent fight i have no clue wut tht really means so don ask.... otherwise life is good, stressful but good , im having a blast with all my girlfriends we're really close, im teaching 3 ballet classes and 2 jazz classes, which i love, im doin aiight in school 3 A's 2 B's and 2 C's....halloween was fun goin thru graveyards wit friends scary!!! lol me mom seem to be really close lately n i really enjoy it we're goin shopping today just ur n im taking her out for her birhtday to a movie she really wanted to go see... so it sud be fun... mike email me call me w/e idc just wanna talk miss u sooooo much n i miss everyong ovr there mark n sara big kisses n hugs to alll
luv y'all l8taz |
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| summa |
[Jul. 1st, 2004|02:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ac/dc, NOFX, ne thing on the punk channel | ] |
hey y'all!!! well this has turned out to be some interesting beginning wks of summa ... my report card came .. def not the shiznits... the rding list is pretty good this yr though... 2morrow night im leaving for camp won't be back until next wkend,.. the parentalk units decided to ship me off for a wk that i wudda had to myself to just go round walkin n hangin out wit friends.. but no they're sendin me to sum religious camp joy for me!!! the only intriging part is that i'll get to go white water rafting & kiaking so it shouldn't be so bad.. plus i get to play wit fire hehehehe i guess i'll just hafta put up wi the whole jesus song things then it's back to eg to wrk @ the day camp for 3 wks exciting stuff yes yes love u all l8taz |
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| stuff |
[Jun. 29th, 2004|03:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Save a Horse - Ride a Cowboy / NFG | ] |
wow i guess i haven't written in awhile things have been good and tough sorta.... things are really hard @ home right now... my parents and i aren't really talking it's very tense... im leaving in a couple days for camp i don know when i'll be back this time hopefu;;y not for a while i just need ta get a way ya'll know wut i mean? yea ya do .... been goin out nites a lot wit george n holly n brian..... joe's bothering me again cuz he's
"interested" o joy for me.... i can't get close to ne one... and i dont want to i have friends close fiends and ppl i love to hang wit i dont need a 2nd 1/2 ...... love can't possibly exist for me it's just not there w/e ..... couple wks i start work @ east greenbush day camp lol im doin arts n crafts.... i bet i'll get lost in the corn maze!!! lol larry'll find me i hope.... well ttyl luvu2all L8TAZ |
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| holy shiznit |
[May. 15th, 2004|03:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Blink182, and the songs from my dance performance this yr~ | ] |
wowa i haven't written in like 2 frigiin months! holy shit
well let's see lots happened i guess always in 2ouble but hey thaz me i have a b'f name's bill such a sweetie have a new close friend named tj me n kriten seem to be so much closer n tht makes me really hpy .... ct wait to have a girls day/out with kate n kristen,,,, gotta get a couple cameras to carry wit me so i have sum of everyone.... I MISS U MIKE!!! I MISS MY PAPA BEAR!! goin away 3 wkends in a row 2wice to camp once to buffalo cuz my unc's comin to visit from CA wit his new wife this shud be an interesting family reunion o yes funfunfun lol well im just happy a lil frustrated lately grams not doin very well n im thinkin nout movin out so hit me back just to chat i love u n miss u all ~ ashley |
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mbsk2_ash's journal